Emotionally Whiped (for unknown reasons)

Today was a rough day. It really was. I had a horrible day at work (we're allowed those, right?) and found out I'm only working 5 hours next week... what the?? Ehh... that made the day harder... but even before all this I was out of it.

I ended up taking an hour and a half walk in DT TC, through some woods on NMC campus, etc... at around 10pm... I was later informed that this was a poor decision on my part & got yelled at for being careless, but whatev... in my defense.... I asked a guy if he'd go with me, he didn't want to... and I really needed/wanted to go for a walk... so I went. It didn't really matter what happened to me, I just longed for a walk...

And when I returned to the Well, Lindsey & Elysia were there waiting for me, we hung out a bit, and then Elysia left and Lindsey got to recording some of the open mic night music.... and I was just feeling... out of it. I was hoping that the walk would help, and it did.... but not nearly enough.

A few minutes later a weller came up to me and engaged me in conversation... I didn't make it easy, but they did it so well, just the same. I was impressed by their skill, so I indulged them... lol. Never underestimate the power of a good effort... especially when interacting with a teacher and encourager myself... we live to find good things and water them.... lol. Anyhow, I could tell he was looking for an avenue that I would open up to him through, but he settled, quite thankfully, with me telling him of my experience of getting a poem published in High School, and how I love to read. He shared his art with me and encouraged me to write poetry again; telling me about muses... etc

Then, a friend of mine gets up and... I've never heard him sing... but the words... his voice... seriously made my soul leap when I first heard them... absolutely gorgeous.

And it was then that I decided that my "guy" has to be willing to sing for me... even if he's bad at it.

I find it interesting that as soon as you (pl) verbalize a discovery or victory Satan's like: "Oh yeah?? *SMACK* take that!" And obviously, you know better now... but truth or not, familiar patterns are easier to succumb to, even if they are destructive. Support systems are crucial... and I made it through the day without telling myself, "You're a failure; you'll never amount to anything." It was hard, but I did it... :o)

peace. love. sweet sleep,

Asher
(check the vid below if you haven't, it's great!)