Verbal Processing

I must confess, I'm overflowing with thought and about to explode.

How do I know? Well, I can always tell I'm "full" when I have a morning like this...

(this occasion took place a few mornings ago)

Walking around the house, I was desperate to find my shoes. Where in the world had they wandered to? How does someone who lives alone lose her shoes... does it make any sense? Well, as I perused my surrounds, my mind kept jumping from one deep thought to another at a rather rapid pace, but slow enough that I could begin to process it before "the switch"

What's more, is I realized that I was having this entire "conversation" with myself out loud (imagine that underlined, would ya? HTML is rebelling this afternoon...). Yeah. The whole thing. Now, I had a professor in college who felt I had mislabeled myself as a verbal processor, and I can see how he came to that conclusion... I tend to quiet myself when I'm thinking around others because of one of two reasons 1) I know their personality couldn't handle the verbal processing, or 2)I fear judgment from others/confirmation of my worst fear:that I am inadequate. I experienced both of those reasons with this particular professor, so they rarely got to experience me in all my fullness, like Larry gets to on a semi-regular basis, lol. (thank you SO MUCH, Larry, you really are an amazing listener and friend. I really appreciate you and what you selflessly contribute to my life)

Honestly, I don't know many who can handle my need to verbally process and keep such a non-labeling/condemning way about them that encourages me to express my thoughts and ideas, uninhibited. Being an impulsive analytical who verbally processes and is, at times, emotional, is quite the combination... but alas, I embrace who I am and how God wired me and I trust that, because of His goodness, He will grow me into the individual I am meant to become, with all my giftings and shortcomings.

Can you accept who you are, faults and all? I am working on it, and I encourage you to do the same.

Oh, and my shoes? Yeah, they were in the closet... :-p

-Asher