an early DTR

I was reminded of a lot by the sermon in church today. I found myself both encouraged and challenged by the things my pastor had to share. He talked about the 5 fatal/fabulous attitudes (ie ungrateful vs grateful). I was really challenged to be a good-finder instead of a fault finder. Because, while I am gifted in encouraging others, the same skill I use to find good can easily be used to find negative. And while I trend toward the positive most of the time I can get in these negative, destructive ruts.

He also talked about snake bites. How an unsuspecting bite can cripple you, even if it wasn't your venom to begin with. (does that make sense?) No sooner had the service gotten over than did someone suggest that Clayton (the name of the guy Im "seeing.") didn't really like me, he was probably just trying to cheer me up (from what, I'm not sure?) But nonetheless, it was enough to cause me great uncertainty and sadness for the rest of the day. While I was on my 15 at ON one of the managers talked through it with me and suggested that if I am uncertain I should ask him to clarify what his intentions are. That's a bit more forward than I like to be, but I did end up calling him (especially since he'd called while I was at work) and we talked about it. A little early for a DTR, I think, but a lot better than wondering, doubting, confusion. He stated very plainly that, "I'm so into you." And "you're the most amazing person Ive met in recent history." So.. yeah. I'm enjoying the friendship. Him. The dates. The emails about long days at work and nothing important at all. And I am amazed at his kindness and thoughtfulness. I adore how we don't touch each other at all. (is that weird?) Or maybe I adore that he doesn't make awkward attempts for a hug a handhold, etc. I dont feel like it's necessary. I really like that I dont have to impress him by trying to be someone Im not. I like that he gets nervous around me.

He's a good guy. He's handsome. He treats me well. He likes me for who I am. I feel safe around him. He's a musician. (hey, Im not gonna lie, a guy with an acoustic is a beautiful thing!)

I just got done crying because of another "snake bite." *sigh*

something I want others to know: we're friends. we're "dating" so we can get to know each other and see what happens. This isn't a go for marriage ... so don't make it something it's not... thanks... I appreciate it.