I tried three times yesterday to sit down and write. Three of them! Each time, before I sat down, I was full of thought, feeling as though I was going to burst. Then I'd sit down and go completely blank. If you're a writer you know how completely frustrating it is. It's as if you're trapped inside yourself. You had the keys and the door was before you. And just like that, the keys dissolved. They were right there, in your hands, and then they were gone. Having been trapped in this God-forsaken room for oh, I don't know, let's say a month, you were desperate to leave. To flee. In fact, when that door swung open, your plan was to flee as fast as your legs could carry you until the walls that imprisoned you were no longer in view.

If you can imagine what that might feel like, you might have some understanding of what it is that I felt yesterday. Even today writing is a challenge. So I figured I'd write about how I couldn't write. Very original, I know.

(for some reason the full song won't play when imbeded so go ahead and click "launch stand alone player" It should open another window/tab and then play the real thing)
Oh my God, look around this place
Your fingers reach around the bone
You set the break and set the tone
Flights of grace, and future falls
In present pain
All fools say, "Oh my God"

Oh my God, Why are we so afraid?
We make it worse when we don't bleed
There is no cure for our disease
Turn a phrase, and rise again
Or fake your death and only tell your closest friend
Oh my God.

Oh my God, can I complain?
You take away my firm belief and graft my soul upon your grief
Weddings, boats and alibis
All drift away, and a mother cries

Liars and fools; sons and failures
Thieves will always say
Lost and found; ailing wanderers
Healers always say
Whores and angels; men with problems
Leavers always say
Broken hearted; separated
Orphans always say
War creators; racial haters
Preachers always say
Distant fathers; fallen warriors
Givers always say
Pilgrim saints; lonely widows
Users always say
Fearful mothers; watchful doubters
Saviors always say

Sometimes I cannot forgive
And these days, mercy cuts so deep If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I dream we're better,
Scales were gone and faces light
When we wake, we hate our brother
We still move to hurt each other
Sometimes I can close my eyes,
And all the fear that keeps me silent falls below my heavy breathing,
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder
We all feel the need for wonder
We still want to be reminded that the pain is worth the thunder

Sometimes when I lose my grip, I wonder what to make of heaven
All the times I thought to reach up
All the times I had to give
Babies underneath their beds
Hospitals that cannot treat all the wounds that money causes,
All the comforts of cathedrals
All the cries of thirsty children - this is our inheritance
All the rage of watching mothers - this is our greatest offense

Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God