You are a blessing

Sometimes life is just difficult. When a friend of mine accidentally had me look up prov 3:15 I caught, out of the corner of my eye a verse that went something like,

"My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline
and do not resent his rebuke, 12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.

And given some acutely challenging situations lately, I can't help but wonder if I'm reaping what I've sown. It's a humiliating place to be, and I for sure, did not know I was sowing these seeds...

It's painful and I've already been feeling beat up, so after a conversation where I made the conscious effort to listen, not defend, and take whatever came, I felt lower than an earthworm. Breathing... remembering to breathe... has become my focus. Each life-giving breath aches and I feel as though I'm wandering blindfolded through a field at night alone and without guidance.

In his goodness and his grace, though, gave gifts today to help the time pass and the heavy weight of grief feel lessened. The weather was gorgeous, and although I felt detached from reality around me, I could at least appreciate the sun's warm rays. And then free coldstone helped, followed some time down by the bay at Bryant park and a hilarious and CHEAP dinner at fazoli's, where Katie surprised me with some flowers because she had heard I was having a rough day. And just a few moments ago I got off the phone with a good friend Rachel from GR who has graciously started the job hunt for me while I'm still up this way. And she was awesome. Listening, though I didn't have much to say on why I was upset, except for vague details, and affirming me.

"Asher, you are truly a blessing and I really feel like you need to hear that right now."

Thanks deats. You have NO IDEA what that means to me right now. And I'm looking forward to our time together on Thursday.

Please pray that my apartment gets taken tomorrow! YAY!! Pray @ 2pm EST, folks!