a note about the last note

Finding ways that others need to improve seems to be a good ol Christian pastime.

Not that this is all bad.

But let's say that, "in love", eight different people identify eight different things/ways that another needs to work on, overcome something, heal, change, do... you get the picture.

Let's say that these critiques are all done "in love."

if eight people beat on eight things

you've got sixty-four negatives coming your way... in love.

And let's say that these eight people always care enough to address the negative

but never address the positive.

In love, you receive sixty-four critiques on how you should be living instead of how you're living
What you should be thinking, instead of how you're thinking
What you should be avoiding, instead of what you're avoiding

How would you feel?
If that's all the feedback you ever received?

Do you feel inspired? Like you have good things to contribute?
Like you can overcome painful events and move on to do amazingly redemptive things?

Or do you feel a little winded. A little confused. A little inadequate.
Do you, even if you'll never admit it, begin to wonder if people can see anything good about you?

I feel the latter, honestly.

So take note: If you want to address something with me; some area that needs growth, healing, change, you MUST be able to first authentically address something positive with the same level of intensity.

I have too many critics in my life. I need encouragers who will help me see not only the areas I need to work on, but also the ways I have grown and overcome and the characteristics that benefit those around me.

This is a personal boundary now. I will enforce it. If you seek to challenge me, but you do not first offer me encouragement and affirmation, I will walk away. This isn't to be rude, but to protect myself. And it may seem extreme, and it may be, but it's necessary for my health. I'm feeling a little beat up lately. And very inadequate. And I simply can't walk around this world feeling great about myself and the role I play in the world if people are only pointing out where I don't meet their hopes and expectations.