I love teenagers!

[note to self & others: having a grande cappuccino at 10:30pm when you're not addicted to caffeine = seeing all sorts of hours that you haven't seen since crunch time, Senior year of college]

... if you get me on the subject of my students, past or present, I will not shut up... guaranteed!

Random sidenote: The past few nights I haven't been getting myself to sleep at decent hours that are appropriate for my work schedule. I've been compromising my self-care for a social life... end random sidenote:

And, although I know this statement is going to get me yelled at, I'm a horrible youth leader!

Seriously, folks. I told one of my girls from my internship (she recently located me... actually, several of them have found me in the past week... I think they're spreading the word, lol... and I suppose it's okay, now) that I would email her today about a particular topic she's confused on... but it's been more challenging than I anticipated. You see, it's about "Guarding Your Heart." And, well... see, this isn't something someone helped me discover... they just told me to guard my heart and somehow expected me to know how to do it... I've learned since then, but not via spiritual direction... so I'm trying to figure out the best way to tackle the subject in such a way that helps her expose the mystery of God and the truth behind the concept... instead of just saying "this is what guarding your heart is" and having her apply it like a fix-all or something.

So, as I've investigated the passage that we get the phrase from (Prov 4:23) and it's context... I'm not finding much... apparently there's just one understanding of it in today's church(relationships)? And I'm not convinced we even interpret it right... but that doesn't mean the principle isn't true... man o man... so instead of bringing clarity to myself as to how to guide her, I've definitely made it more muddled. Oi...

I don't want her to think she can't count on me to follow through with my word, so perhaps I'll just sent her an email explaining that although I know she's eager to have a conversation about this, I'm going to need a few more days...

I love teens... I love ministry... and being around some of the ones that I worked with 4 years ago, helping to disciple them, is amazing. Many of them are serving/leading in ministry and have grown so much and are eager to reconnect with me, even after 3 years. It's beautiful. A living, breathing miracle! Just goes to show that youth min is definitely a long-term investment, lol, and not for those instant gratification hungry. What can I say? I'm so proud of them!!

And, I got a note from another one of the kids I worked with during my internship. This one was letting me know that he's in college now, etc. He also stated that the retreat I planned and led is still the subject of talk at the youth ministry, and in the record books. (if I were to do it again Id have a separate track for the student leaders altogether. Some of the stuff was too heavy for them and there were more useful ways to train them, since their primary role while a student leader is to build influential relationships... but that's what experience does... it teaches you, if you let it!)

Stuff like that is so encouraging to hear, really. I really love planning events and teaching, in general. I'm not much of a preacher in the traditional sense; I definitely have the heart of a teacher... and I come alive when I teach... my heart leaps just typing about it here!! Some day, friends, I will be ready, and I will work with such love and dedication.. I feel it within me, the same way I know that I have the Holy Spirit within me! ... mmm... for now, I sit, I wait on the Lord, and serve Him right where I am... savoring the beautiful moments where God calls me forward and uses my beauty and my scars to help love others and draw them to Him!

*big, cheesy, excited, asher-type grin*

-Asher