Little is Much

Little is Much by Downhere
What is the measure of a life well-lived
If all I can offer seems too small to give
This is a song for the weaker, the poorer
And so-called failures

Little is much when God's in it
And no one can fathom the plans He holds
Little is much when God's in it
He changes the world with the seeds we sow
Little is much, little is much

Who feels tired and under-qualified
Who feels deserted, and hung out to dry
This is a song for the broken, the beat-up
And so-called losers

Consider a Kingdom in the smallest seed
Consider that giants fall to stones and slings
Consider a child in a manger
Consider the story isn't over
What can be done with what you still have
_______

I've been hanging out with Jordan. There's nothing really new about that situation, I know, but it does explain my new appreciation for well-thought-out Christian music. The above lyrics have become my prayer lately, as I am seeking to devout ever aspect of my life to His glory, trusting that my small and sometimes misguided efforts are dearly loved and used for good by God.

Take, for instance, The Haven. I know that in a field where everyone talks about attendance and numbers and decisions for Christ, having 15 people in my home (affectionately called "the Haven" even before I decided to launch the Haven) for a meal and some practice at doing and being community doesn't seem that great or important, but I believe I am doing what I am meant to with what I have. Most of the time I am reminded, especially during dinner nights, how incredibly inadequate and broken I am. Often my $70,000 education fails me, as no amount of theory and classroom training and tests can prepare you for the beautiful mess that is the human race. One night, and this was during one of our most busy nights, I found myself going for a walk through the crisp snow and icy winter air in order to regain my thoughts and emotions. I felt bad, abandoning my guests, but trust me, if I didn't catch a moment to process, I wasn't going to be any good to them, or God.

I started the Haven when I did because I was/am sick of talking about the things that I "one day want to do." And sure, it makes it harder, not having everything completely thought out, but it does allow for "things" to happen. Am I advocating starting a ministry on a whim? Not a chance. Ministry without intention is just... well, nothing important. I did have a functional phil-o-min for the Haven nearly completed when my laptop completely bit the dust and I lost all my stuff that I hadn't backed up (mainly my haven stuff). So, it's back to the drawing boards with me, and now Jordan. We will be taking the 26th off for a breather and a chance to restructure things. Our best ideas are to have the group split up into "pods" of 4-5 when there are more than 7 people present. Pods is a cool word. We'll (Jordan &I) set the tone with prayer & scripture as we always do, and then eat in 2-3 separate groups, that will not be assigned. Haven't really thought about after dinner yet... well, I have, just don't have any shining, stellar ideas at this point. Having multiple nights isn't functional at this point because of me not wanting to limit my availability any more than I already have. Changing locations would also be really challenging and we'd most likely have to make the food elsewhere and transport it to the location, which eliminates a huge part of the community experience.

Aside from my chronically ill car, Sadie, the Haven is my greatest source of stress. It's not entirely bad stress, but definitely less than enjoyable at times. However, I wouldn't seriously shut the Haven down until I knew that it had fully served its purpose. Here's why: tonight Andy and Jordan were over and Andy was laying on my couch, just relaxing, and he says, "Asher, I love coming to your house, it's so calm and relaxing." And I hear that sentiment over and over, in differing ways, each week. It's interesting to me that something that can be such a challenge and stretch for me at times is somethings others find so inviting and enjoyable (even when their "fearless leader" randomly disappears for 20 minutes, seeking refuge, haha)

So God is doing great things with my obedience, with my willingness. And even though I feel ill-prepared and inadequate at times, His glory shines brightly through my imperfections.

Little is much when God's in it. A-men.