That's One Good Lasagna!!

We eat a lot of Italian at the Haven. It just happens that way.

It's cheap. You can make large amounts easily. Everyone likes it.

That's pretty much all we need to know.

We also eat a lot of Chicken. Do you have any idea how many things you can do with chicken?
It's ridiculous! We've even used chicken in place of beef in our spaghetti... hehe.

Last night Anna, my new roommate, and I made the most fantastic lasagna I've ever had... ever.

Sorry, Ma, Anna and I have you beat.

If I had been thinking, I would have taken a picture for you all.

It was beautiful.

I must mention the constant bickering that took place between Anna and I as we assembled the masterpiece. It was hilarious. I was laughing hysterically the entire time, arguing only because of the enjoyment I was getting from the whole ordeal. Sound mean? Don't worry, she was laughing, too.

In the end, we put more sauce on the lasagna (my argument), and it turned out great.

Okay, it was really a compromise.

Obsessed? Maybe. I love to cook. When it turns out well, I get very excited.

Picture a lasagna with 5 different cheeses, lots of fresh garlic, marinara sauce, steamed spinach leaves, beef, and mushrooms... mmmm.... seriously.

We also made lots of bread sticks with our own butter/garlic sauce with fresh garlic...

mmmmmmmm...

Tarah will be spreading the love next week by cooking for us! Menu is a SURPRISE!!
And to close, a picture of three of the beautiful women of the Haven:

Me, Tarah, and The Anna

-Asher
ps- for the first time EVER, we had NO LEFTOVERS at the Haven!! wow!!

Yesterday

The snow melted, incase you were curious.

Another great day with Justus. He really is a good kid. Since we couldn't go to the park and burn off little boy energy, we built a fort and played hide & seek. I did end up using time-out twice. ick.

Mind you, my only source of energy was coffee, so when we got to dinner night, I was shot and really glad Justus had other playmates. Unfortunately, he spun out of control. Auntie still feels bad for the way his parents treated him, so he gets away with a lot.

Also, we had a completely mellow group last night, and for once, the guys out numbered the girls, 2:1. After dinner I laid down and we read psalm after psalm, 20 of them in total. By then, it's just me and a few guys, and they all completely cleaned everything on their own, letting me rest. It was amazing and my home looks fantasic. Thanks, guys!!! You really helped me out last night! Gold stars for everyone! =) THAT is what it looks like to serve one another in love!

-Asher

Little is Much

Little is Much by Downhere
What is the measure of a life well-lived
If all I can offer seems too small to give
This is a song for the weaker, the poorer
And so-called failures

Little is much when God's in it
And no one can fathom the plans He holds
Little is much when God's in it
He changes the world with the seeds we sow
Little is much, little is much

Who feels tired and under-qualified
Who feels deserted, and hung out to dry
This is a song for the broken, the beat-up
And so-called losers

Consider a Kingdom in the smallest seed
Consider that giants fall to stones and slings
Consider a child in a manger
Consider the story isn't over
What can be done with what you still have
_______

I've been hanging out with Jordan. There's nothing really new about that situation, I know, but it does explain my new appreciation for well-thought-out Christian music. The above lyrics have become my prayer lately, as I am seeking to devout ever aspect of my life to His glory, trusting that my small and sometimes misguided efforts are dearly loved and used for good by God.

Take, for instance, The Haven. I know that in a field where everyone talks about attendance and numbers and decisions for Christ, having 15 people in my home (affectionately called "the Haven" even before I decided to launch the Haven) for a meal and some practice at doing and being community doesn't seem that great or important, but I believe I am doing what I am meant to with what I have. Most of the time I am reminded, especially during dinner nights, how incredibly inadequate and broken I am. Often my $70,000 education fails me, as no amount of theory and classroom training and tests can prepare you for the beautiful mess that is the human race. One night, and this was during one of our most busy nights, I found myself going for a walk through the crisp snow and icy winter air in order to regain my thoughts and emotions. I felt bad, abandoning my guests, but trust me, if I didn't catch a moment to process, I wasn't going to be any good to them, or God.

I started the Haven when I did because I was/am sick of talking about the things that I "one day want to do." And sure, it makes it harder, not having everything completely thought out, but it does allow for "things" to happen. Am I advocating starting a ministry on a whim? Not a chance. Ministry without intention is just... well, nothing important. I did have a functional phil-o-min for the Haven nearly completed when my laptop completely bit the dust and I lost all my stuff that I hadn't backed up (mainly my haven stuff). So, it's back to the drawing boards with me, and now Jordan. We will be taking the 26th off for a breather and a chance to restructure things. Our best ideas are to have the group split up into "pods" of 4-5 when there are more than 7 people present. Pods is a cool word. We'll (Jordan &I) set the tone with prayer & scripture as we always do, and then eat in 2-3 separate groups, that will not be assigned. Haven't really thought about after dinner yet... well, I have, just don't have any shining, stellar ideas at this point. Having multiple nights isn't functional at this point because of me not wanting to limit my availability any more than I already have. Changing locations would also be really challenging and we'd most likely have to make the food elsewhere and transport it to the location, which eliminates a huge part of the community experience.

Aside from my chronically ill car, Sadie, the Haven is my greatest source of stress. It's not entirely bad stress, but definitely less than enjoyable at times. However, I wouldn't seriously shut the Haven down until I knew that it had fully served its purpose. Here's why: tonight Andy and Jordan were over and Andy was laying on my couch, just relaxing, and he says, "Asher, I love coming to your house, it's so calm and relaxing." And I hear that sentiment over and over, in differing ways, each week. It's interesting to me that something that can be such a challenge and stretch for me at times is somethings others find so inviting and enjoyable (even when their "fearless leader" randomly disappears for 20 minutes, seeking refuge, haha)

So God is doing great things with my obedience, with my willingness. And even though I feel ill-prepared and inadequate at times, His glory shines brightly through my imperfections.

Little is much when God's in it. A-men.

Ashley's 20th

Last night we celebrated Ashley turning 20! YAY!!! Jordan and I had been busting out butts for the past two weeks trying to plan everything and make it perfect... and wow, we had one stress-filled Monday to cap it off!!

Meijer was CRAZY!!! And when I'm as stressed as I was and we're winging it like we were, Meijer isn't the greatest of ideas... lol. We survived, though, and then had two hours to cook everything.

Jordan made this amazing Spinach & Tortellini soup that we served as the first course.

I made, from scratch (I've never made a cake from scratch), a chocolate velvet cake with homemade cream cheese frosting. It was pretty much great! We did this second because the main dish wasn't done. We had Edy's French Silk Ice cream with it.

And for the main dish we made lasagna. One blond and one traditional. We just kinda "winged" it with the blond, too. It turned out AMAZING.

Discovery of the night: Jordan & I are really good at cooking!

We surprised her with a scrapbook full of letters from her favorite people and quotes from our favorite books, and watched a movie together.

YAY for a successful party for the ever-beautiful Ashley Pearce!!!

-Asher

The Haven- pt 3

I have a problem.

Whan we first started the Haven there were three of us. Last night (and I kid you not) there were 15 people. 15. This isn't a bad thing, but it does mean that just a couple months after starting the Haven, we need to restructure the Haven. Now, in my internship I helped restructure my share of things, but this is massively different.

Aside from the fact that I only have a 4-person table and each week we find a way for every person to sit around it, 15 people is too big for one "small group" endeavor. It makes the significant "connections" more difficult to make, and it's hard for everyone to "share the burden" when there's not enough tasks and responsibilities to go around.

So, my question is this: how, my friends, do you suggest this change take place? And what change do you think would be positive in light of our "booming" attendance? We (Jordan, Ashley, and I) did some brainstorming last night after everyone left, and have a few ideas, but I'm kinda bumming, because it means a lot more hands on leadership than we originally wanted.
Some important info (and if you need more or have any questions, let me know)

target age range (and those who come) are 18-25
both genders
not necessarily Christians (a few arn't)
the main drive of the haven is relationships and discipleship in non-formal settings
the current guidelines set up are
- no exclusive 1-1 convos off in another room, apart from the group (we were having problems with a couple co-dependent relationships)
-use of the computer is fine until there are 4 or more people at the Haven. after that, the computer is off limits (it hinders interaction)
-everyone is welcome to be present as they are, no matter what kind of day they've had, or what they believe.
-everyone is to be respected and appropriately loved while at the Haven
-everyone helps with meal prep and/or clean up
-the Haven is to be left as clean as it was when the night started

the going-ons of the night include hang out time (7pm), then meal prep, then when dinner is done (usually 9pm) we gather, read a passage of scripture together, pray, and "break bread." During dinner there's general conversation, sharing about the day/week, and usually 1-2 discussion questions (usually light-hearted to ease new people in). After dinner is dessert and clean up, and then some sort of laid back activity (like last week it was a movie, yesterday it was apples-to-apples, sometimes it's just conversation)

so, all-in-all, the commitment for a monday night for those who help out is from about 7pm-midnight.

If you have any ideas, could you let me know? Thanks!

Haven- part 2

Hey guys! In case you are curious, the Haven is up and running (about 6 weeks now =) ), though it is not advertised as a ministry...

Though still a newborn, things are going well! Mostly "the Haven" simply refers to my home and the things that happen within it, as well as the community we seek to develop. While I (we) do have a loose but functional philosophy of ministry in place for the Haven, I mostly observe what happens without my immediate direction and make changes to it as necessary. Rather hands off, I know, but I desire to be a facilitator, not a dictator, especially at this point in time.

The big night for we at the Haven is dinner night, which usually draws in between 8-12 people easily, a night, though tonight we had a "smaller" group of 7 (it started 2 months ago with 3 of us!). The idea behind dinner night goes beyond that of food. In this context people are learning to serve one another and that when everyone shares the burden, emotionally, spiritually, and physically, (like bringing something for dinner) it is possible for everyone to enjoy, with leftovers to give to those who need (and myself, since I make next to no money right now). We never truly know what will happen after dinner, and though we go into the evening with a rough idea of a possibility, more often than not, the group generates their own discussion and ideas of activities, most to which we oblige.

That being said... I haven't been alone since Dec 20th... lol. Except for right now! woohoo! We have a thin mattress propped up in the hallway, awaiting its next costumer. The dishes are never all done at once and the coffee table has been "permanently" relocated to my reading nook to accommodate for the extra beds needed and the random movie nights that simply occur on their own. We have a supply of cups & silverware set up on the counter and are continuously accepting food donations so that the people who come in to hang out are able to be happy & well-fed when they leave. I genuinely LOVE this, I really do!

The work is hard, though. People come in as they are, especially because my fear of confrontation has long subsided and I am known for my willingness to identify white elephants, walls, and masks that enter the haven. The people of the Haven are gorgeous, inside and out, and they are broken... but Brennan Manning in the Ragamuffin Gospel tells us that to be alive is to be broken and to be broken is to be in need of God's grace, or was it mercy? ... a great reminder for those of us whose pasts are darker than the midnight skies. I feel it is still too early to say that God has grown anyone in this, except perhaps myself. I have been under attack more than once and struggled with things and thoughts that have never been issues before. And I am learning, as Don Perini has said so many times, "who am I to give advice?" I am but another child, limping forward with the rest, and have no right to assume that the words I feel the need to say are truly the words of freedom & truth an individual may need. And so I listen, a lot. I do my best to always be encouraging, but to also exhort when necessary. For some/most of these things I have no answer, but it is no longer about the answer for me, but about the journey and the pursuit of such answers. As proverbs 25.2 says, "It is the glory of God to conceal a matter and the honor of kings to search it out." And although the past two weeks have been nothing but one battle after another, I am learning to trust in God for who He says He is, despite how illogical it all seems in the bleak moments. I am also discovering how to use the strengths and weaknesses of those that come into my home strategical in benefiting the group and growing one another... does that make sense? I've gained a lot of confidence in my ability to "do" ministry... especially since I've discovered everybody and their brother has an opinion or two about how I should handle this issue, that conflict, or these situations. Ultimately, I am accountable to God for my actions, especially in respect to this ministry, and I must make decisions that cause me to be at peace with myself and the Spirit of God within me... and if I make a mistake? I confess, not only to God, but to myself and to all those who my decision affected. It is far from enjoyable at times, but I am a firm believer that the ways of God are far better than my own ambitions and insecurities that seem to dull the vibrancy of life.

Love is not love without sacrifice. Listening means setting aside all distractions and making the person talking the sole object of your affection for the time they are in your presence. Soup is for the body like tears are for the soul. It is best to be in wonder, not certainty. God is God and cannot be contained within any idea, thought, or theory that man develops. Those in pain don't need answers, they may not even need comfort; rescuing someone from their struggles only harms.

Just a few of the things I have discovered as of late.

Please pray for we at the Haven. There is no official leadership in position, though I have my partners in crime, Lady Katie & Sir Jordan, continuously working with me to seek & do the will of God with devoted love. We have a few issues that must be addressed, open & honestly, very soon... like yesterday, type soon.

• Modesty; in dress, but also in attitude/spirit. We (Jordan, Katie, & I) have some ideas how to approach this, mostly I hope for open & receptive hearts.
  
• Respect for property. Though no one ever damages any of my things, I am continually cleaning... continually! With people over almost every evening, it's a wee bit tiresome, so I'm trying to discern the best way to encourage everyone to share in the responsibility of my home... which isn't really mine, at all. I'm thinking of making this chore wheel thing that people spin, kinda like the one in twister! We'll see, lol.
  

Our crowd is 98% Christians, right now... and I am okay with that, for now. It gives us a chance to make a few more mistakes and work out some quirks around people who already have a basic understanding of grace and forgiveness.

What can I say? I love it! Ahhhh... this is so great! I feel like dancing! So, so hard! But oh so awesome!

Prayer for me, specifically:

• Pray against spiritual attacks
• wisdom & strength (or weakness!)
  
• I need another job! Old Navy just isn't cutting it!
• my car still needs fixin!

There you have it... in a large nutshell!

-Asher