love.

I'll be honest... in this moment... 2:04am Saturday Sept 15... I feel lonely and unloved.  The tears are just a lip-quiver away... but I won't cry.  I'm sick of crying alone and I've yet to experience the freedom of crying in the arms of someone who loves me.  As a teen I use to pray and cry, "God, all I want is a hug. Could you please come hug me?"  A foolish prayer, perhaps.  

I'm not sharing all this as a cry for help or a "pity me" post... I share because I want you to understand the power behind these lyrics, right now, for me...

Because... He may not have physically hugged me then... or now... but He has provided for me... with people... money... jobs... and the people hug me... and I trust that the day will come when I cry in someone's arms.  And so I make the choice to be thankful and remember all that He has brought and grown me through.

Things He has done for me...

• 6 years ago my dentist explained to me that one of my fillings was coming loose.  It's held up pretty good until 3 days ago.  (That's a YAY in and of itself) The whole ordeal will probably cost me a good $300.  And my appt (the soonest we could find) is MY BIRTHDAY.  Going to the Dentist is rough enough... but on your birthday?  Seriously.  Anyway, a friend (who doesn't know about this, I don't think) randomly gives me a check today for $150.  Trust me, I debated.  They wouldn't listen.  So, I'm half way there.  Hopefully my B-day will bring in some more cash and it'll be taken care of in no time.
• My job at the coffee shop is so stretching.  Tonight I closed alone.  What should have taken 20 or so minutes ended up taking about 40.  I guess that's pretty normal for a first-timer... but then the computer flipped out and wouldn't settle the credit card batch.  Sweeeeeet.  Hopefully it'll all be okay. But it's a test in self-confidence, for sure.
• I'm back at living hope with some great relationships being built.  :-)
• Old Navy called and canceled my shift for Sunday.  That's sad, trust me.  I need the money.  But it'll make Sunday a little less stressful than it typically is.