Cats

Let me preface this by saying a couple things:

• I have no real problem with cats, in general
• I am severely allergic to some cats (long-haired ones, usually)
• My roommate has two, un-spayed kittens who have been going into heat every couple weeks since they were about 5-6 months old.

Does anyone out there know what un-spayed cats sound like when they go into heat? Literally, it sounds like they're dying; an anvil fell from the sky, landed on them, and now they're pinned beneath them, dying and yelling, "woe is me! Woe is me! I'm splat beneath this anvil, woe is me!"

And seriously? You can hear the wailing from outside the apartment. It's horrendous, folks. Howling, calling out to that elusive male who simply MUST be on the other side of this closet door! Never mind the fact that they've already paced the darn apartment so relentlessly I swear there's a little kitty mating path worn right into our carpet...

Cats are nocturnal. That means that the moment my roommate and I try to grab some sleep, they start up at a rate that makes the manic look slow and a coyote seem quiet. Howl... moan.... MOAN... howl.... reeeeaaRRRoooow!!! RREEEAARROOOOOOOOOOOWWWW! AHHHHHH!!

Because of my allergies, my door stays shut most of the time, and always at night. I actually don't react to them anymore, but I figure it's not something to tease. During the day, though, I don't like to feel like a prisoner in my own room. And usually? Well usually they stay out, they know better. But when they're in heat, they don't care. They're all hormones and would rather risk death than actually stay out of my domain. (Actually, it's all my domain, and they're just disillusioned balls of fur who think the run everything... hey, do you think that's how God sees us? Without the fur, of course. That and he did give us dominion... so maybe not so much)

So they slowly make their way in, despite my warnings, and attempt to snuggle with my foot (as if that will help them procreate??). I chase them out, sometimes with a deep, "NO" attached. But they don't learn. And I finally found something they despise more than they want babies.

Water.

It's great. I am , once again, ruler of this domain. They come around the corner, moaning their vocal cords away, and "squirt" they're done. It's a great system.

I feel like a secret agent... :-)