Discipleship* & Mentoring

* I pretty much can't spell. Sorry guys.

My favorite part of ministry is relationship. I love the fact that it's all about relationship. Our relationship with God, others, ourselves, and the world, all wondrously intertwined. I suppose there are several reasons for this, but one of the strongest being that life cannot ever be lived alone. And when we try? We suffer. And so do others. We suffer, most fundamentally, because to be alone goes directly against our created nature.

One of my favorite projects in Senior Seminar was the relationship-web thing we developed (it certainly wasn't that never-ending lit review...). In it were those who pour into us and those who we pour into, as well as those who the pushing/pulling goes both ways. It was amazingly helpful for me to see the different people in my life and how we were all interconnected, fulfilling different roles with different people.

It brought a lot of clarity to me, and ever since then, has given me an awareness to make sure there are always people from each "group" in my life.

I first me Lucy** when she was on the upside of twelve. I didn't know it at the time, but Lucy had been watching me ever-so-closely for a month or two before she and I actually had a conversation. The first time I remember talking with Lucy was in the middle of my v-67 series on how God lives outside of a box (I cant remember what I called it), doing crazy things like giving a donkey the power to rebuke and bring someone to obedience.

I liked to, and still do, teach with play-doh or mold-able things. I find it helps students stay engaged, rather than be distracted, when done right. Before I began to teach I asked the students to think of a way that God had done something in an unexpected way in their life, and mold something to represent that. When I finished, and because the group was smaller, some of the students shared their creation and story with the group.

Lucy was one of those who shared. Her story captured me and left me a bit speechless. She had found God doing big things in the small, quiet areas of life. We talked afterwards and began to hang out on a regular basis.

It's about 3 years later and we've stayed in touch via email and texting. When I would visit the GR area we'd get together. I'm not going to lie, there are times where I've wondered and doubted if I was "qualified" enough to guide her along and worthy enough my status of "hero" in her life. But I've come to understand that it's not about my perfection, but about God's movement in my life, and my willingness to guide her through her journey.

She turns 16 on Monday. Yesterday she and I got together... and she came prepared. We've been talking about developing good boundaries for 2 years or so. I had already decided to let today be a fun, silly day, since it was our first "date" since I moved back. She, however, had other plans. She had decided she wanted to tackle some business, and brought lists and thoughts. So we did both, but had more fun than business, of course. Her willingness to "get it," no matter how difficult the change is, is something I've always admired about her.

Yesterday she made her own relationship constellation. She had, oddly enough, already started one on her own, without realizing it, so we just worked the rest of the way through it. As she's grown and started taking more ownership of her relationships and figuring out what she needs, it's been fun for me to watch her grow and discover. But honestly? Lucy has taught me that the process of mentoring isn't so much a process, at all. It isn't about having each student reach the same milestones unilaterally. Each one has their own needs, own personality, own voice to discover, and that process looks vastly different for each of them. Such a liberating truth for me as it takes the weight of, "gotta go it the right way" off my shoulders and gives me the freedom to use what I know of her, of God, of myself, and the world around us in a creative way.

**Lucy is not her real name. =)