Hey guys! In case you are curious, the Haven is up and running (about 6 weeks now =) ), though it is not advertised as a ministry...
Though still a newborn, things are going well! Mostly "the Haven" simply refers to my home and the things that happen within it, as well as the community we seek to develop. While I (we) do have a loose but functional philosophy of ministry in place for the Haven, I mostly observe what happens without my immediate direction and make changes to it as necessary. Rather hands off, I know, but I desire to be a facilitator, not a dictator, especially at this point in time.
The big night for we at the Haven is dinner night, which usually draws in between 8-12 people easily, a night, though tonight we had a "smaller" group of 7 (it started 2 months ago with 3 of us!). The idea behind dinner night goes beyond that of food. In this context people are learning to serve one another and that when everyone shares the burden, emotionally, spiritually, and physically, (like bringing something for dinner) it is possible for everyone to enjoy, with leftovers to give to those who need (and myself, since I make next to no money right now). We never truly know what will happen after dinner, and though we go into the evening with a rough idea of a possibility, more often than not, the group generates their own discussion and ideas of activities, most to which we oblige.
That being said... I haven't been alone since Dec 20th... lol. Except for right now! woohoo! We have a thin mattress propped up in the hallway, awaiting its next costumer. The dishes are never all done at once and the coffee table has been "permanently" relocated to my reading nook to accommodate for the extra beds needed and the random movie nights that simply occur on their own. We have a supply of cups & silverware set up on the counter and are continuously accepting food donations so that the people who come in to hang out are able to be happy & well-fed when they leave. I genuinely LOVE this, I really do!
The work is hard, though. People come in as they are, especially because my fear of confrontation has long subsided and I am known for my willingness to identify white elephants, walls, and masks that enter the haven. The people of the Haven are gorgeous, inside and out, and they are broken... but Brennan Manning in the Ragamuffin Gospel tells us that to be alive is to be broken and to be broken is to be in need of God's grace, or was it mercy? ... a great reminder for those of us whose pasts are darker than the midnight skies. I feel it is still too early to say that God has grown anyone in this, except perhaps myself. I have been under attack more than once and struggled with things and thoughts that have never been issues before. And I am learning, as Don Perini has said so many times, "who am I to give advice?" I am but another child, limping forward with the rest, and have no right to assume that the words I feel the need to say are truly the words of freedom & truth an individual may need. And so I listen, a lot. I do my best to always be encouraging, but to also exhort when necessary. For some/most of these things I have no answer, but it is no longer about the answer for me, but about the journey and the pursuit of such answers. As proverbs 25.2 says, "It is the glory of God to conceal a matter and the honor of kings to search it out." And although the past two weeks have been nothing but one battle after another, I am learning to trust in God for who He says He is, despite how illogical it all seems in the bleak moments. I am also discovering how to use the strengths and weaknesses of those that come into my home strategical in benefiting the group and growing one another... does that make sense? I've gained a lot of confidence in my ability to "do" ministry... especially since I've discovered everybody and their brother has an opinion or two about how I should handle this issue, that conflict, or these situations. Ultimately, I am accountable to God for my actions, especially in respect to this ministry, and I must make decisions that cause me to be at peace with myself and the Spirit of God within me... and if I make a mistake? I confess, not only to God, but to myself and to all those who my decision affected. It is far from enjoyable at times, but I am a firm believer that the ways of God are far better than my own ambitions and insecurities that seem to dull the vibrancy of life.
Love is not love without sacrifice. Listening means setting aside all distractions and making the person talking the sole object of your affection for the time they are in your presence. Soup is for the body like tears are for the soul. It is best to be in wonder, not certainty. God is God and cannot be contained within any idea, thought, or theory that man develops. Those in pain don't need answers, they may not even need comfort; rescuing someone from their struggles only harms.
Just a few of the things I have discovered as of late.
Please pray for we at the Haven. There is no official leadership in position, though I have my partners in crime, Lady Katie & Sir Jordan, continuously working with me to seek & do the will of God with devoted love. We have a few issues that must be addressed, open & honestly, very soon... like yesterday, type soon.
- Modesty; in dress, but also in attitude/spirit. We (Jordan, Katie, & I) have some ideas how to approach this, mostly I hope for open & receptive hearts.
- Respect for property. Though no one ever damages any of my things, I am continually cleaning... continually! With people over almost every evening, it's a wee bit tiresome, so I'm trying to discern the best way to encourage everyone to share in the responsibility of my home... which isn't really mine, at all. I'm thinking of making this chore wheel thing that people spin, kinda like the one in twister! We'll see, lol.
What can I say? I love it! Ahhhh... this is so great! I feel like dancing! So, so hard! But oh so awesome!
Prayer for me, specifically:
- Pray against spiritual attacks
- wisdom & strength (or weakness!)
- I need another job! Old Navy just isn't cutting it!
- my car still needs fixin!
-Asher
1 comments:
Community is at its finest when we're at our weakest with eachother.
I envy your position right now! Andi & I would kill (ok, maybe thats a bit extreme) to have Haven in our home with people remotely close to us in age.
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