Communications & Questions

I am a big advocate of communication. I believe that, as difficult as it can be at times, we owe the people in our lives honesty, especially as it relates to our relationship with that person. This of course, means several rather uncomfortable conversations, and, as I've discovered, a fair amount of conflict. (because while most people know there is conflict just beneath the surface it is easier and safer to ignore it, rather than deal with it)

For few months now when people would come to me frustrated with something another has done, after they're done expressing I ask, "Is this something you could communicate to ________?" Now, I know this isn't the ideal question, but it's worked, and I've been in search of a better one to ask. And Wednesday morning, while listening to a friend, something clicked.

When they were done, I asked, "How do you think you could go about communicating this?" Without missing a beat, my friend responds, "Asher, you always ask me that! It drives me crazy!" (I smiled, their animated response was too much).
"No," I said, "What do I always ask you?"
"If I can communicate,"
"And why would I ask you "how" instead?
"Because I can communicate, I'm just choosing not to"

And then silence followed.

I'm glad I'm growing in this area, lol. With as much listening as I tend to do, I need to ask better questions.

FRIENDS! Communicate! It's good! It might be awkward, but honesty was the original design for us, don't settle for fallenness when you don't have to!

peace

Asher
ps- I got to see Aza for the first time in 4 weeks, yesterday. It was very, very good! He's back from Germany/Europe. I missed my buddy! Ahhh... he's home. It's not like we haven't not seen each other, before. We use to go months, but we'd still talk and such... anyhow, I'm glad he made it back safe. He says I need to go to Italy. So, I probably will. =)