I think I've posted these lyrics in the past, but I stumbled upon the song again yesterday and found the words to strike a new cord, causing me to ask new questions and consider what change might look like. Read these over and give it some thought.

What emotions or thoughts do they prompt? What questions do they evoke? What would it look like for things to be different? Better?

[Oh My God, by Jars of Clay]

Oh my God, look around this place,
Your fingers reach around the bone,
you set the break and set the tone
For flights of grace, and future falls
In present pain all fools say, "Oh my God."

Oh my God, why are we so afraid?
we make it worse when we don't bleed,
there is no cure for our disease.
Turn a phrase and rise again,
or fake your death and only tell your closest friends,
Oh My God.

Oh my God, can I complain?
You take away my firm belief and graft my soul upon your grief.
Weddings, boats, and alibis,
All drift away, and a mother cries...

Liars and fools, sons and failures, theives will always say..
Lost and found, ailing wanderers, healers always say..
Whores and angels, men with problems, leavers always say..
Broken hearted, separated, orphans always say..
War creators, racial haters, preachers always say..
Distant fathers, fallen warriors, givers always say..
Pilgrim saints, lonely widows, users always say..
Fearful mothers, watchful doubters, Saviors always say..

Sometimes I can not forgive
and these days mercy cuts so deep,
If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep.
While I lay, I'd dream we're better, scales were gone and faces lighter,
When we wake we hate our brother, we still move to hurt each other,
Sometimes I can close my eyes and all the fear the keeps me silent,
Falls below my heavy breathing, what makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder, we all have the need for wonder.
We still want to be reminded that the pain is worth the plunder.

Sometimes when I lose my grip, I wonder what to make of heaven,
All the times I thought to reach up, all the times I had to give up.
Babies underneath their beds, in hospitals that cannot treat them.
All the wounds that money causes, all the comforts of cathedrals,
All the cries of thirsty children, this is our inheritance,
All the rage of watching mothers, this is our greatest offense

Oh my God,
Oh my God,
Oh my God

What I Observed @ Mass

- a huge respect of Jesus. They would stop and "adore" (is that a good word, Casey?) every time they passed a cross.
- they were very reverent
- they didn't pray TO mary
- they took mass seriously
- the symbolism was HUGE. I loooooove how everything is done intentionally (Casey will be hounded with questions)
- they knew the prayers and creeds
- I felt peace when I walked in
- it really wasn't all that different (except for the eucharist) than some of the more liturgical protestant churches I've been to
- I didn't feel pressure to become catholic. it was great to be in the company of fellow Christians despite the differences in theology


Some of you (and there has been more than one) have expressed mild-severe concern about my attendance at a Mass. If I may, let me put your fears to rest. I feel compelled to search for Truth. Truth is what drives me. I want to learn about Catholism not out of fear but out of respect for a great and large part of the family of those in Christ. It will still take much convincing theologically for me to become catholic. However... the spirit and the people are beautiful. And isn;t that what Jesus was/is most concerned about? Besides, I connected with God... and you can't argue that...

And, nothing I heard today would have had any protestant minister mad or shouting "heresy!!"

Breathe easy, my friends... I am in good hands... God's.

As I'm investigating things, which I have been doing so quietly for several months, i'll probably share a thing or two I find good to think on. Here's a quote from Mother Teresa,

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.

I know I need that encouragment... how about you?

Check the Time Stamp

Go on, check it.

4am. Yep. I've been up since 11am and busy since 2pm. 14hrs after I started my working day, I've finished it. This wasn't so abnormal in college, but it's incredibly challenging these days.

We had amazing conversation tonight at the Well. That's awesome, let me tell you. It was movie night and we watched Jesus Camp a strictly film (no commentary/narrator) documentary about extremest Christians of the Charismatic wing of Christianity... and specifically how they indoctrinate their children. Having been discipled into an A/G church I figured I'd be somewhat sympathetic to the individuals, but all I saw was shallow, highly emotional experiences and shame-filled tactics. Halfway through the film I went outside I was so frustrated about how the kids are treated. I mean, no one's mean to them, but they're definitely being spiritually abused. And it's sad to me to hear (and I kid you not) one 8 or 9 year old boy explain his salvation experience like this,

"I've been saved since I was 5. I..when I was 5 life just wasn't fun anymore. I knew I needed more out of life. So I came to Jesus and life's been good ever since."

What? And their children's pastor was giddy with such an answer at her finger tips.

Another little girl, age 10 (I think), talked about hearing the voice of God. She was at a bowling alley and wanted a strike soo badly. So she prayed her little heart out... for a couple minutes, mind you, and you could hear the sweet sincerity in her words, "Jesus, guide the ball, help me..." And then she rolled the ball on down with all the strength a 10 yo can muster... and no strike. In fact, she was centimeters away from a gutter ball. The look on her face was crushing. She clearly didn't understand why God didn;t hear her prayer and answer. She went off and sat alone. No one bothered to console her broken heart. It angered me.

And then there was the home-schooling mom who believed President Bush has done Christianity a service. And who told her kid while they were studying science that global warming wasn't an important problem, and evolution not worth spending time on. I wish I could describe for you the actual conversation she had with her son. It made me so sad.

Or the 9 yo who wanted to be a beautician solely because she thought her clients would be unsuspecting and unable to decline the gospel.

And then the parents of these kids send them off to a camp where all ages were taught how they MUST change the world, that they have these experiences, that if they're not careful satan... well, okay, I think you get the picture... in essence, several of the parents were forcing their kids to have intense emotional reactions...

I'm concerned. I wonder what the bowling alley girl will understand God as. I wonder if she thinks she isn't good enough or God doesn't really care about her. I wonder what will happen when homeschooled boy goes out in the world and discovers that global warming and evolution are important issues. I wonder how many of them are forcing the experiences, much like I did when I came into the pentecostal circle, so they can get accepted and feel good enough. I wonder what will happen when beautician girl begins to realize people won't come back, or when no-fun 5 yo begins to doubt his faith as a teenager.

Let me be clear: I'm not dogging these kids. They're sweet, well-meaning children whose love for God is no doubt genuine. I am, however, calling into the spotlight this subculture that seeks to disciple kids like Muslim extremest do their kids... only with "the Truth." (I'm referencing actual statements by the children's pastor). I'm saddened.

We discussed it for a good 3-4 hrs. No joke.