The Ache of Betrayal

I can only begin to imagine the pain Jesus experienced when Judas leaned over, kissed him, and in essence, handed him over to be killed. Ugh. Betrayal, rejection... tools of hatred.

Like I said, I can only begin to imagine the pain...

But I can begin...

The past few weeks have found me trapped in a vicious cycle People get an idea in their head, and despite all efforts, they will believe what they will... and poor leadership only feeds the cycle. I am forming a strong opinion along the lines of "A person cannot be an effective leader if they first do not take a basic counseling class and adequately master conflict resolution and problem solving."

Do you remember the scene from anger management where everyone insists he's having a bad day/angry, and by the end of the meeting he's flipping out? Yeah, that's how I feel, only it's more a feeling of brokenness and worthlessness... Gossip is so incredibly destructive, folks... there are guidelines in the New Testament for conflict resolution... we can only hope that they're there because there are the best way to handle inevitable conflict that humans will have to cope with.

1. Go to the person you're hurt/angry/concerned with DIRECTLY. Tell them in a respectful manner what the deal is.
2. IF that doesn't work, take another trusted friend with you (though I repeat step one a couple times, to be honest)
3. If that doesn't work, take them before the community. And sense we know that Jesus' life was about love and freedom, we can only assume that is how the community should act and respond.
4. If that doesn't work, they are "set" outside the community and treated as an unbeliever. How does a believer treat an unbeliever? With patience, love, persistence. Not condemnation.

For me, none of these steps were followed... Gossip bites, folks. It hurts, it kills, destroys. It
harms relationships. Honesty and authenticity and real relationships become impossible. Right
now I don't know who I can trust. I don't want to go to my favorite places because I fear
running into someone who failed to be real with me, who has false ideas about me and won't
consider my story as truth... they didn't even try once. I don't tell you folks this to be all "woe is
me," but I want you to really consider how you handle gossip & conflict. It really really bites
when gossip causes you to lose trust in those you love.

Please learn from my situation. If you value the people in your life, be real with them. Go to
them, not others. Any other option only results in hurt and destroyed trust. And believe me,
trust built once is difficult enough, but rebuilding trust after an earthquake such as this 100
times more difficult, and will never be as whole as it was the first time around.

-Asher