Poker

Tonight I spent my entire night at the well. It was a great release after literally cramming my world into Sadie (my Saturn) and moving out. (which means I packed! YAY!) I had hoped to read and write. Instead, I ate dinner with a couple cool cats, made a few drinks for patrons, and played an intense games of spoons. Spoons is such a great game, seriously.

When the guys tired of spoons, they suggested poker. And although I insisted I didn't know how, it's poker we played. Sorry "Sexy Rexy," (the nickname for CU's former president, who wrote a book on the evils of gambling) but I actually like the game. And I was doing alright towards the end. Mostly I just had good and patient teachers.

It's weird to think that tonight was my last Friday in TC. Kinda sad, in a nostalgic sort of way. I know that GR is my next step, but I have some amazing friends, like Casey and Jason, that I will truly miss. Sure, because of technology we don't have to lose touch, but my "arguments" with Casey won't be the same over email or the phone. I won't get to make crazy drinks for Wellers anymore, or get called into sub at the last moment.

It's all so weird to think about.

I've done the cross-state/cross-country move a few times, so it's not that I can't wrap my mind around it. Just that I wish I could have it all. The best of both worlds. Have my cake, and eat it too I wish I could have Stephanie and Casey and Jason and Aza and Casey B and Boogie and the Hockin family... and the opportunities of GR, the support system, the growth.

The truth is, though, that nothing stays the same. Casey is leaving for Ava Maria University in August to pursue his masters in Theology, Casey B and her husband are heading out to Vermont, Lindsey's headed back to California soon enough, one of the Hockin girls may be leaving the state, and Boogie is destined to be a program horse (he's old, it's a good life). Ect. So life is not static, but fluid. And we cannot hold fast to mutable things. It seems, for so many, that this is a season of change and of faith. I know countless people my age who are making drastic changes, leaps of faith, after seeking God for a bit and then just knowing, even when they're clueless, that this crazy canyon needs to be leaped into, and that God will catch them. Or at least be there when they hit rock bottom. God doesn't always catch us, I've learned. Sometimes He lets us fall and fall hard because it will grow us. Or at least enable Him to hold us close for a while.

Much like a morning page, this blog started one place and ended somewhere entirely different.

I hope that's okay with you.