"Do I look surprised?"

Every once and a while I get pretty down about my family situation. Mind you, I love my family, but there are so many deep-rooted issues that keep us running in circles in terms of our relationships. I say "us" because although I am ready and willing to deal with whatever needs dealing with, but they are not. They don't even see the problem(s). Now, as a 23 year-old woman holding a very hard-earned Bachelor of Science degree, living on my own (plus a roomie), I don't need to be in the center of the issue, I can, more often than not, live my life unaffected by the crap that engulfs them. I still have my issues from when I was a tot, and those, to some degree, will always remain, but I need not take on more.

Whether you view it as fortunate or not, however, they are still my family, and the ongoings occassionally bother me deeply. Lately I have been more affected by "family issues" and I am discovering a surprising thing: there are friends of mine that are amazing family members, who love me even on my days where I need reassurance every 20 minutes. Anyone else ever have days like that? I sure do. And in response to my days I hear things like, "I love you," "You're not bothering me," and, "You're safe here." Mmm... comforting words!

But it's not always sweet-love. I've experienced my share of tough-love, too. I was recounting a conversation that had me upset to a friend, and they turned to me and said, "Asher, do I look surprised?" (shocked, I shake my head no) "You shouldn't be either. Your family will probably always be like this, you need to accept that." (awkward pause *here*) They're right, I've known that for a long time, others have known it, too, I'm sure. But no one's had the guts to just come out and say it... until a couple of days ago, anyway.

The cool thing about this situation is that I am not without family. As cheesy as it sounds, I have the family of God, and a specific group of them are continuously challenging my understanding of unconditional love, and showing me that they desire my freedom and healing just as badly as I desire theirs.

I know my situation isn't unique, so if you can relate to my "situation" with my family, I want to encourage you to find sanctuary in the family of God; we're not perfect, and some Christians down-right suck, but there are many out there that are longing to develop lasting relationships that encourage, heal, and bless. Please please, seek it out. Fight for it. It's worth it, I can say that much.