Gluten is evil. Its scheme? To disable me, torture me, and ultimately? To kill me.
It didn't always use to be like this. Or at least not that I was aware of. In fact, I'm a big fan of bread and wheat products. And it's no exaggeration to say that spaghetti kept me alive in college, along with mushroom and pineapple pizza. Mmm... pizza...
But alas, these days I can't even handle Ezekiel bread (which is sprouted, simply put: not so processed like ordinary bread). A couple days ago I was eating an ezekiel bread-based piece of toast... and my head... oh man... 15 minutes later it was pounding. Thud thud thud... and today I had wheat bread with breakfast. Same result; a pulsating headache that gives the rock band drums beneath me a run for their money. I googled gluten and wheat and found out that my headaches are probably related to eating such products.
And honestly? I still have said headache. I've eaten. I've inhaled a good 30 ounces of water. I've escaped away to quiet and darkness... and still, it persists with dedication one can't help but envy.
I can whine and complain about the complications of relearning how to eat, but really, I love it. I made a commitment about three weeks ago to awareness, or, "becoming aware." Aware of the world around me, aware of how the way I live and relate and think affects the world and those around me, Aware of my body and how I treat it; my own natural rhythms and idiosyncrasies. Aware of my dreams and my strengths and giftings, as well as my wounds and fears and how I cope (or don't cope) with those things.
It's a weighty commitment, for sure. And in all honesty, I wouldn't have made such a commitment had I not felt absolutely compelled; there is no other way for me. Awareness is my journey for 2009, and will be until days end.
So this whole "gluten's evil and destroys my body from the inside out" thing may be annoying and require a whole new way of living, but I am convinced that there is no better way for me to live than paying attention to my body, considering what's going on in response to this or that, and then making changes that help me heal and become wholly-healthy like I was meant to be.
It is one thing to say that God desires us to be wholly-healthy people.
It is another thing entirely to live it out.
I choose to be aware and live it out.
First blog post
10 years ago
