Coated in Spring Sludge...

...and I'm totally okay with it.

Sunshine makes everything easier to handle.

As I was running out the door today, I noticed an intense patch of ice at the end of the driveway. I traversed it well and made it safely to the other side to my car. As I was loading up, I realized I forgot fluxx, a must for coffee with Larry. I ran back inside, surviving the ice mountain, and got the cards. Coming back over my icy enemy, I slipped and flew, bum first, into a muddy puddle.

Mind you, I am wearing my khaki corduroys and light blue fleece. And now, the very fashionable accessory of "spring" sludge.

No time to change, I started to climb into my car, my bum and left arm coated with the anathama of the changing seasons, when the box my fluxx cards are kept in, gave way, releasing no fewer than 60 new game cards all over the sludge covered street.

Stunned stillness.

Deep breath in.
Equally deep breath out.

They're just cards.
And the sun is out.

And it's 50 degrees out at ten minutes to 8am

on February10th.

in Michigan.

Okay.
Yep.
I'm good.

I pick up the now coated cards
And go on my way.

An upside to someone cancelling?

I now have time to come home & do laundry.

And frolic in the sunshine.

Hopefully, this time, avoiding puddles of spring sludge!

-Asher Ninja

Paradox

Alright. Today at fifty6 one of our main characters died. It was so sad. I know the story and I was still tearing when she died the first service.

The second service my lights guy had put the lights up all the way so the kids could write their question down. I suggested he dim it a bit. The next thing I know, the lights are off. My reaction? Well, first my jaw hit the floor; I knew it was an accident, but was still stunned that it happened. Then, in a sheer stroke of leadership genius (HA!), I started laughing. So hard, in fact, that I had to put my head down on the counter before me. Then my guys started to laugh. Which made me laugh harder. So I'm sitting there, hunched over the sound booth counter, laughing HYSTERICALLY and trying not to make a sound. Unfortunately for me, my voice is essentially gone, so every few hurried breaths in, I'd squeak, which of course, made me and the guys laugh harder. I think it was a solid ten minutes later before I regained myself completely. Well, I cried again second service, but not because someone died. Just because the lights went out. Oh man.

Square Watermelon

I'm at work, prepping for an interview this afternoon and getting stuff in line to apply for a job that I could possibly and likely really love, and I stumbled upon this:





Sometimes ingenuity requires you, in fact, to think inside the box.

Some people make me smile.

Napkin, Please?

Youth Group & Lindsey :-)

Okay, I meant to peace off the net as of yesterday, but because of my failure to think through things, it'll be another day or two. Basically, my church does a media fast every year, and while they aren't starting that portion of our 40-day church wide fast for another 2 weeks or so, I'm on the net a lot and want to start early. So, this will be my last (I think?) post for a while.

I cannot even try to tell you how exciting it is to be working as a part of a youth ministry again. It's fun! It's also very nerve-shaking for me as I'm confronting fear and questioning my "skills." Almost always I feel inadequate and fear that Pastor Jay (the YP) will come up to me, tell me I'm a fraud, and disallow me to be around the kids. I know that's not really going to happen (or at least I hope!) but I fear it, nonetheless. I find myself being fairly timid around the kids and having to force myself to talk with them. I remember feeling this way the first month of my internship at GR First and am hoping that with time it will fade.

Memories! Lindsey and I made some today!











A note: I did, in fact, take more of Lindsey. They're on her camera and she uploaded them for me, so I have far more pictures of myself! (btw: I'm the redhead, she's the blonde, and I'm wearing her super-sweet hat)


This last one is of Jay, the Youth Pastor at my church. Lindsey and I decided we wanted to get him a funny gift, so we found a mug at the hope chest that reads, "You are a very special uncle." Hehe. I'm quite proud of us!

AA

Job Fair & Social Butterflies

I went to a job fair today. Aza went as well. And as I sat there I was overcome by how stuffy it was in the room, everyone nervous, hoping they could be one of the lucky to receive a job. It was stiff! All I could think about was the huge white board and the six or seven different colored expo markers before me. Hangman. Ohhh hangman.

Tempting, but I resisted. A few minutes later Aza comes up behind me and asks if I want to play cards. So we pulled up a couple chairs to a table and played Fluxx. It was fun... and awkward once I realized that everyone was watching us... specifically me... (due to my more expressive nature) but definitely still fun. And as we were playing, Aza leans over and says, "I thought about writing on the white board, but I wasn't sure how it would be taken." Then another person, closely watching us, says, "we could play heads up, seven up."

Hehehe. Everyone laughed. It was great. When it came time for my interview, the interviewer apologized for the wait. I assured him that it was quite okay; we entertain ourselves!

Leave it to Aza and I to lighten up a situation.

I'll know next week about a new job. =)

AA

Dreams

A lot has happened in the last few days! Most humorously would be a dream I had just yesterday.

Asleep on the floor, I dreamed that two men were after me most ardently. The ran after me and I took off, miraculously running just like everyone else would, and I flew up the stairs as though they didn't exist. It was sweet, I'm not gonna lie. Anyway, I get upstairs and make a dive for my dresser. Frantically, my hands grabbed for... my vitamin C. As quickly as I could manage I shoved as many tabs in my mouth as I could fit. My shakey, adrenaline filled hands sought to hid my bottle of vitamin C as they closed in behind me. I wrapped my body around the small bottle. Off they dragged me as I screamed, passionately and at the top of my lungs, "NOOOO! DON'T TAKE MY VITAMIN C!!!"

Yep. That's pretty much the weirdest moment of my week. Sheesh. What was I on?

I'm not sure, friends, I'm not sure...

Asher

=) I... like people...

=)

Today was such a good day. It was definitely a day where I would have rather been outside than inside working. But here are some outtakes from today while I was working @ Old Navy.

(while expaining pear & pesto pizza to barbie)
"People put pineapple & pear on pizza... wow... say that five times fast..."

me: "I smell like gas... (weird looks from coworkers) ...I mean gasoline"

(Im walking up to Jeremiah, moving my arms to the music)
Jeremiah: "what's that?'
me: that's me grooving to the music... it's hard to tell though, I have zero coordination to begin with
J: oh, I was going to say you looked like a fighting nun. (what?!)
me: a friend and I do a happy dance when we're in the car listening to the music (demonstration... in the middle of the store)
J: you... you need help...
me: well THAT goes without saying...

(Rochelle had just demonstrated her new & improved anorak folding technique and left me... it didn't go so well for me... so, over the employee walkies...)
me:I'm sad
random coworker: what happened?
me: (best servant impression, w/hint of play-shame) "mastaw, I have faiwld you.."
Rochelle: (not on walkie, from across the store) *loud laughter* (on walkie) "aawwww"

There are MANY more, but the last one Im going to share with you is this:

We find out it's this little girl's birthday. so, all the employees decide we should sing happy birthday to her. so we lined her exit and sang as she left and clapped and cheered. I think we royally freaked her out. It was great seeing her expression, though! go team ONO 2891, go!

O Commander of Loudness

About 11pm last night Heather, Lindsey, and I ventured to Steak n' Shake for a midnight snack. When I'm exhausted, which I was (and am), I am slow and slightly less able to handle lots of stimuli.

I don't have much of a bubble. It was popped.

Our original waiter was a character, to say the least.

He came up to our booth, and I'm looking at Lindsey and Heather who are across from me, so I didn't see our waiter walking up. He sat down next to me... and by next to me, I mean our thighs were sharing booth space...

I looked over, shocked and fully over-stimulated. My face was enough to get the ladies laughing. He then rests his head on my shoulder. I felt like telling him, "Listen, mister, I know I'm a beautiful sungoddess, but I have standards."

I'm probably red at this point and definitely creeped-out. He made some comments about beautiful ladies, I tell him we weren't ready to order, and he gets up, shouts (loudly, mind you), "I'm sorry ladies, but I just can't sit with you in you booth." I gave him a look. His boss gave him a look. He disappeared for a few minutes.

Upon his return, he informs, "I won't be taking care of you tonight. I'm tired and I'm going to go home and get a couple beers." (looks over at me)

I'm thinking, Ooohhh, I'm really attracted now. Oh baby, oh baby...

An older woman finished waiting on us. My Prince Charming said he was going to go home, but we saw him scrubbing floors... hmmm...

Oh, Steak n' Shake! Thanks for the laughs.

Creepy Encounters: Installment #1

As I was walking into work today (Sunday) there was a minivan pulling out of a spot and turning to leave when the driver slowed the vehicle and rolled her window down. We had a conversation. It went something like this:

Random Lady: Hey! You work at Old Navy, don't you?
Asher: *confused* Yes, yes I do.
RL: Right, I saw you in there a few days ago *smiles*
A: *confused smile* (hoping she's going to ask about our return policy or something)
RL: Do you have Cerebral Palsy?
A: *mildly creeped out* Yeesss....
RL: So does my son! How old are you?
A: *wondering if I should answer, but slowly say* 23...
RL: My son's 18! Do you date?? Is it a challenge for you? (I kid you not folks!)
A: (thought process: run, run away!!) Well, it can be a challenge, yes (I'm use to answering 20 questions about my condition with strangers, but this is just weeeiiird)
RL: I just wish my son had someone to go on dates with. I feel so bad for
him on Friday nights. You could really understand him, you know?
A: (fully aware of what she wants, but completely avoiding it) Yeah, I probably could! *laugh, smile, loooong & ackward pause*
RL: *disappointed, but smiling* There's hope for you, hon! Have a good day!
A: *thoroughly creeped out* You too, ma'am. *walk into store*

She tried to set he & I up!! And, if the kid has any self-respect at all, he'd be mortified that his mother tried to set him up with some random girl because she has a disability and his mom feels bad for him!

Holy cow, this is near the top of my creepy encounters list!

-Asher
ps- No, she did not show me her picture/give me any info... oi!

Hide & Seek, pt 2

Believe it or not, when I first found her, the dryer door was closed. No joke. At this point she's more than ready to get out, but she was completely in there. At one point I was mildly concerned about how she was going to get out. Ladies and gentlemen, I am glad to say, Ashley did not spend the night in my dryer. =)

How to Survive a Ninja Attack (edited version)

Red Neck Santa??

Pizza sounds good. I'm too poor to afford such a luxury, though, so I'll just make some eggs. I like eggs. :-)

I worked last night. It was so slow I'm pretty sure we didn't make enough money to pay for our electricity. :-p

We're all working on various things, trying to occupy ourselves, when a man walks in with long, snow white locks of hair and a beard just as long and white. He was wearing hunter orange, and lots of it.

I possess quite the imagination, and all I could think of was the irony of Santa coming out on Halloween. He either must be confused... or the red-necked version of St. Nick...

So, bored, I get on my walkie and whisper ever so gently that Santa had come to visit us at Old Navy Outlet. Now, remember that only employees can hear our comments, and costumers often times write us off as insane because we will laugh or smile without reason... or so they think.

As I made my comment my back was turned to Santa and my coworkers, and I turned to move something to find my coworkers bent over laughing. Not exactly the reaction I was expecting, but hey, I'll take that. Poor Santa was so confused. Good times, good times.

New season begins today. A muchly anticipated one!

-Asher